A Warped Van Tour

Cuff the Duke’s NXNE ‘03 gig at the 'Shoe

When Cuff the Duke’s van’s engine melted on the way to their first gig in October 2002 it was an omen of things to come.

It ran fine after the engine was replaced and made it to Austin, Texasfor the South By Southwest Music Festival with no problems. Everything was great until it started raining in Sudbury. That’s when the Oshawa, Ont.-based quartet discovered their vehicle’s three leaks and the first of several moisture related problems.

They hooked up with the Sadie’s Good Brothers in Winnipegand the van ran without any problems through the prairies.

A friend of The Sadies owns a bar in Winnipeg that he opens to a select few friends after it closes; it’s one of Cuff the Dukes’ guitarist-vocalist Wayne Petti’s fondest memories of the tour. They were introduced to the game of “chicken toss” there.

“We’re all pretty drunk, the party’s keeping it going. They put this bucket at one end, probably a good 25 feet away and you throw a rubber chicken.”

The owner put $10 in a pot and it cost a dollar to throw the chicken. If someone tossed the chicken into the bucket they won the pot of money.

“It gets up to $60 because you get all these drunk guys trying to throw a rubber chicken into a bucket, but you get so into it … I think I spent like $10 trying to throw (it),” Petti laughed.

Cuff became fast friends with the veteran road warriors in The Sadies by the end of the tour. They could one-up every story they had and did a lot to help their sagging morale.

“I think they really got off on the fact that we were this young band on their first tour and they’re these old road warriors who are showing us the ropes,” he said “They were just good at taking you under their wing and giving you advice on shit.”

The shit hit the fan for Cuff in Calgaryin the form of a freak May blizzard. A drive that should only take 10 to 15 minutes ended taking two hours because Calgarydoesn’t plow the roads until the storm is over. Petti said that they could barely see four feet in front of them. Once they arrived at Airdrie, Alta., after having to cancel their Edmontonshow, they had a choice of staying in two hotels, one of which had a sleazy looking strip club.

The other hotel was full but an emergency shelter had been set up in the conference room. At the suggestion of the Sadies they set up to play for their fellow stranded travelers. Keeping with the what else can go wrong? theme there was a four hour power failure and the impromptu gig was scuttled.

After spending some of their tour budget on a space heater and extension cord to get the van started once the storm was over it was on to beautiful B.C. where they had to get the brakes fixed, which luckily stopped working before they headed into the mountains.

The gigs in Vancouverwent fine and it was onto the mountains again where the power steering failed. After a three-day delay in Canmore it was on to Chicago, where it rained. Biblically. And we all know how well the van handled moisture. They were on their way home when the van’s transmission blew outside of Detroit.

With the help of some friendly mechanics they managed to rent a truck to make it back home. Petti said he spent the next couple days catching up on sleep and relaxing. He’s able to look back on the experience and laugh. It prepared them for anything the road can throw at them.

“It’s funny because there are times when you’re loving it and then there’s time when you sit in the van when you’d just kill to be home and chilling out and listening to music or just hanging out,” he said. “And then you’re home an you’re like ‘Fuck, I wish I was out on the road and playing shows and it feels like I’m doing nothing.’”

Cuff the Duke will be playing at Yonge Dundas Squareas a part of the Celebrate TorontoFestival on July 5

Photograph by Andrew Horan